Hentais, Harems, & Heika?
by ghirahim
Summary: -Discontinued and recreated as "All the King's Men"- When Naruto Uzumaki literally falls into the demon world he meets his estranged female grandfather, becomes the emperor of the kingdom and the romantic interest of a slew of possessive, crazy demons.


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto; nor do I own the concept of Kyou Kara Maou and Love (Sex) Pistols! I do not make any money from writing this, or any other, fanfiction as I merely write to appease my perverted, humor-driven mind!

A/N: -To clear any misconception, **this story is yaoi****... **_  
-'Thoughts, and Naruto's brain rebelling against him'_

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It was the 10th of October, and unusually cold for this time of year. Even the normally barren wasteland of North Las Vegas, Nevada was covered in a thick blanket of snow.

Newly turned seventeen-year-old Naruto Uzumaki slept soundly in the warm confines of his bed. Groaning, a tan hand subconsciously snaked down to grasp the prominent tent in his boxers and just as he was about to stroke himself the obnoxious blaring of the alarm reverberating throughout the entire household.

Scowling, the other tan hand clumsily reached out from the blanket shutting the damn thing off. The sheet was pulled down revealing the blond's flushed face. Sighing to himself, the teen kicked the sheets off the bed relishing in the warm central air surrounding the room.

With his scowl deepening, Naruto looked down at the twitching bulge in his boxers. As usual, he woke up before he reached completion. Sighing once more, Naruto trudged toward the bathroom in a half-assed attempt to get ready for school because despite the heavy snowfall Silver High was still open!

Lately, Naruto would wake up having the same dream... though each time the dream itself was different it still held the same overall purpose: the blond would find himself dressed in ridiculous samurai garb sword-fighting other samurai-clad individuals watching their bloody, lifeless bodies drop like flies as if it were some sort of gory, poorly thought out fighting game.

Regardless of how many samurai-type opponents he'd square off against he would always end up the victor (it was his dream after all), then some kimono-clad beauty would thank him—either with a kiss or a hug, or as of lately sex—but the weird part was that this beauty was actually male... _all_ _the beauties he saved were male_! Sure, homosexuality wasn't forbidden or taboo; hell this was _Vegas_ anything was possible ...but Naruto never looked at any man in a sexual fashion, and even remotely considering any guy he knew, or interacted with on a daily basis, in that manner made him about as flaccid as a bowl of pudding. And that statement went double for all the women shamelessly throwing themselves at him!

Due to his lack of interest in _both_ genders, even after hitting puberty three years ago his family thought he was asexual. Needless to say his paternal grandfather/biggest pervert on the planet was immediately open to his possible interest in the same gender and eagerly bought him countless vibrators and other sex toys which had the teen, and his father, blushing bright red. Jiraiya clearly stated he didn't care what Naruto was interested in as long as he was interested in something!

His father, clearly the most oblivious person in the world, was also happy to find out his son wasn't asexual. His mother, not necessarily a homophobe, wasn't too happy about it but that was only because it meant she wouldn't be getting any grandchildren.

"Naruto~! You awake honey?"

Placing his head against the tiles, Naruto turned off the shower glancing toward the closed door. The samurai-induced wet dreams were one thing, but he started blanking out frequently having these weird out-of-body experiences.

As he stepped out of the bathroom and into his bedroom, with a towel wrapped around his waist, he saw his blushing mother enter the room. "Oh!" The redhead gasped then closed the door, leaning against it. "Sorry sweetie, I forgot I can't just waltz into your bedroom anymore."

Kushina found herself backwards on the floor looking at her upside down son. "Happy birthday."

Glowering, Naruto yanked his mother up before glaring at her. "Don't think I've forgotten." The redhead smirked as he brushed past her.

"That's right, only 365 days left." Naruto paused looking over his shoulder at the redhead. "You're so cute, you truly are Minato's child." Shaking her head, Kushina thrust the package in her hands in his chest. "Don't you want to open my gift?"

Eyes narrowing, Naruto eyed the box before he walked off. "No thanks."

"You're right, no gift is as great as the gift of life~"

Walking down the hall, Naruto sighed. He didn't know why his mother hated him so much. As far back as he could remember, they always had this strained relationship...which only seemed to strengthen his relationship with his father and grandfather, and could have possibly dealt a hand in his slight misogynistic persona. According to anime/manga terminology the correct term to describe his mother was a yandere.

Naruto vaguely remembered his mother trying to kill him a few times, the whisker-like marks on his face were, mostly, her doing ...since he was the unsupervised one-year-old playing with the knife scarring his own face and she was the mother with the knack for handling sharp objects. She actually came at him with a cleaver, slashing all over his body, fully intent on killing him since he refused to shed a tear.

While Naruto could, often, be described as 'overly-emotional' he just couldn't cry with ease ...which unintentionally seemed to piss Kushina off even more.

She was definitely quite the actress because all the times she tried to kill/hurt him, it looked 100% accidental. But like all great actresses she got cocky and slipped up...

It had been the second birthday of Konohamaru, Naruto's pranking protege, and there was a party going on for the brunette. The creepy-looking clown (that triggered Naruto's coulrophobia) made all the children balloon animals. A four-year-old Naruto requested—more like demanded_—_the clown made him a donkey; the clown was unable to make it much to his chagrin so he asked the blond to make another selection which happened to be a bull ...and after seventeen arduous attempts the clown asked him to make another request. Luckily, Naruto was the last kid so no one was waiting for their balloon animals but unfortunately all the snot-nosed brats were hell-bent on the clown creating Naruto's animal. Twenty-three different animals, a mummy, and the Eiffel tower attempts later Naruto settled on a giraffe –but knowing Naruto it wasn't just any giraffe ...the four-year-old wanted a red, purple, and orange giraffe. So six attempts later, the clown actually managed to make the animal they way Naruto liked it and the blond eagerly rubbed the strange concoction against his chubby little face which immediately started to swell.

He spent about a week in the hospital, hooked up to various machines and taking countless medications safe for a child. Kushina stopped by about once or twice and Jiraiya came by frequently to give Minato – who stayed by his side the entire time – a break.

Jiraiya took him home since Minato was still at the hospital filling out paperwork. As soon as he got home, Kushina (who had been at the party) ran up to the four-year-old hugging him – around his neck – wearing a pair of thick, rubber gloves.

Naruto's throat felt like it was closing in and he was rapidly fading out of consciousness, but he distinctly remembered seeing Kushina shake her head at him smirking mouthing something akin to an apology.

The last thing he remembered hearing before he passed out was a gasp.

Turns out, Jiraiya was the one who gasped. He was getting the blond's things out of the car which was the cause for his delay, as he entered the house he saw the unconscious boy in the redhead's arms. Jiraiya was always a mellow, chivalrous individual but he ended up going against everything he believed in when he punched her in the face before taking Naruto and driving back to the hospital.

Once he came too, back in the hospital, he saw Minato and Jiraiya glaring across the room at Kushina. It was the first time in his four years of existence he saw the two normally reserved people so pissed. He also noticed the black eye and swollen nose his mother was sporting. Had Minato not been restraining his grandfather, or perhaps the other way around, Naruto was certain he couldn't have been the only Uzumaki in the hospital that day.

In Kushina's pitiful excuse for a defense, she claimed she forgot about his 'rare, life-threatening type I allergy to latex' and was wearing the gloves because she was cleaning the house (the house was immaculate upon his returning, but that wasn't the point). She said she was so happy to see him she ran to him without thinking.

Then Minato told her had she visited more often she wouldn't have this problem. From that moment on Minato was hesitant to leave the two of them alone together.

Speaking of his father, Naruto saw a head of blond on the stairway. Blinking, Minato looked up at his son. "Happy birthday!"

Blushing slightly, Naruto scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "T-Thanks." In regards to the whole 'possibly-asexual-thing' as sick as it sounded he did find his father attractive ...but by no means did he fantasize about him! Ever! Though he couldn't comprehend the pathological blushing whenever his father complemented him, or just spoke to him in general; a simple greeting from the slightly taller blond would light up Naruto's day... but Minato Namikaze seemed to have that effect on everyone.

"Minato~!" Jiraiya turned the corner then sighed, "I should have known you brats would be 'bonding.'"

Naruto smirked, "you sound just a bit jealous there old man."

"Pfft_,_ hardly. Oh... by the way, happy birthday and all that." Jiraiya disappeared then reappeared with a large box. "Open it, open it!"

Sighing at the enthusiasm, Naruto opened the box then immediately pushed it away. Minato peered into the box blushing bright red. As soon as he became a teenager, since Jiraiya had no way of knowing he'd be a late bloomer, Naruto received a bunch of sex toys for his birthday but this year the old man truly outdid himself. Not only was there a copious amount of _new_ sex toys unseen to human eyes, but there was also various sex books, condoms, and types of personal lubricants.

"_What the fuck am I going to do with all this shit?_"

"What kind of a stupid question is that?" The white-haired man shook his head as Naruto gaped at him, "and best of all... the condoms are latex-free so you don't have to worry about your allergy, isn't that great?"

"No? What the hell makes you think I'll use any of this stuff!"

"Damn, you're so frigid. You told us about the near-nightly sex dreams, you might as well experience—"

"Stop right there, I don't wanna hear anymore!"

"Fine. But give the ones you don't need to Minato, have a good day at school." Eyes widening, Naruto turned toward his blushing father.

"Y-You...?"

"I can explain!"

Naruto waved him off, "n-nevermind. I think I'll be going now."

"Let me give you a ride."

Sighing, Naruto scratched his head. "Okay..."

...

Minato was what scientists would classify as a safe-crazy driver (if such a classification existed), he could and would do the craziest shit imaginable and get away with it all the while avoiding accidents –with the weather he installed snow tires which only seemed to add to his craziness. A normal 20 minute drive to the school turned into about seven minutes and would have been a lot quicker if not for the slow drivers ahead.

With his road-rage under control Minato affectionately caressed the dashboard. "Who's a good car? Who's a good car!"

Naruto sweatdropped, "uh... don't get too carried away."

"B-But I wanna have more fun, pwease~?" Naruto's right eye twitched, bad enough his father was too adorable for his own good and unreasonable under normal circumstances but he was down right incorrigible when he was like this. Luckily, Naruto was his father's son.

"No."

Minato pouted slumping against the driver's seat. "You're no fun."

"Boss!" Still pouting, Minato saw the brunette run up to his son. "Hiya!"

"Hiya."

"What's wrong with him?"

"He's throwing a fit because I won't let him go crazy with the snow tires."

"Aww, but they're really good."

Naruto pointed toward the building, "get to class." Huffing, the brunette stomped toward the building. He turned back to Minato matching his glare, "and you wonder why Jiraiya won't let you get a faster car?"

"_Naruto Uzumaki, I __know_ _y__ou're here today. Report to the Principal's office...__**immediately**__!_"

Minato smirked, "and _you _wonder why you're always getting in trouble in school?"

"Touche." Slinging his backpack over his shoulders Naruto trudged toward the building. "Catch ya later."

"Have a good day~"

On his way to the principal's office, Naruto wondered what he did wrong. He hadn't pulled a prank on anyone since the month began —granted that was only ten (seven school) days ago, and he was suspended for fighting the last five days... and –what was his point again?

Slowly opening the door, Naruto slipped inside. "Y-You needed to see me, Principal Sarutobi?"

"Yes Naruto, and do you know why I needed to see you?"

"Um... um, you wanted to wish me a happy birthday?"

The old man sighed, ignoring the blond's infectious grin, folding his arms over the desk. "While that may be true it's not the case here."

Naruto slumped back in his seat, "I figured as much..."

Sarutobi sighed again, "this is regarding your fight on the 30th."

Scratching his neck, the blond turned toward the wall on the left. "Fight... _what fight_?"

"You just made your 'I remember' face." Naruto scowled. "Your head managed to dent. A. Pole; I'm not sure just how that was possible but you managed to do it. Have you had any headaches lately?"

"No."

"I see... and have you been seeing or hearing anything strange?"

"Did you turn into an overnight shrink?" Naruto winced as he felt the old man's cane hit him on the head. "Oww, I'm already injured!"

"Don't be a smartass Naruto, just answer the question."

"No."

"_No?_"

"No. I haven't seen or heard anything strange ...well stranger than usual."

"Care to explain?"

"My life is pretty strange in it's own right." Sarutobi's eyes narrowed. "Okay, okay! Well... I found out, during my suspension, that I could almost fully understand Japanese without reading subtitles; I mean I know I'm Japanese-American and all but other than the old man's occasional slip-ups and well watching anime I haven't had much experience in the language."

Sarutobi leaned forward nodding, "has anything else like that happened?"

Blushing slightly Naruto slumped further back in his seat. "W-Well, I-I s-sort... I sort of dream, well I have this dream—"

"Calm down Naruto."

Nodding, the blond took a deep breath. "I've been having this weird dream... I save this guy's life, I mean it's usually a bunch of different guys –but that's not important. The guy or guy_s_ I would save speak in Japanese, or something similar, and before last Friday I couldn't understand him ...or them; I mean the only Japanese words I understood were thanks for the meal, sorry, damn, thank you, stupid, and bastard."

The old man nodded knowingly, "and Minato... what has he said about this?"

"Not much."

"Hmm... well I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. Anyways, don't get into anymore fights! The school year just started and I don't want to explain to a truant officer why a minor is casually roaming the streets!" Naruto shrunk back, "good. Glad you understand me, now get to class before you get written up."

Nodding wordlessly, the blond left the office. Sighing, the old man reached into his top drawer and pulled out a glowing crystal ball. "Alright, I hear you, if you're all ready I'll open the portal from this side."

As Naruto rounded the corner he collided with Konohamaru. "I thought I told you to get to class?"

"Aww boss, why are you acting like you give a shit about class?"

"_I_ don't, but _you_ should. Especially since your grandfather is the principal!"

Konohamaru rolled his eyes. "So... got any pranks ready?"

Naruto facepalmed. "Are you crazy? I just got off suspension... check back in about two or three days when the heat is off."

Konohamaru saluted, "you got it chief! By the way, that fight was totally kickass –but I wouldn't have expected anything less from you."

Grinning, the blond patted the fourteen-year-old on the head. "Aw shucks."

"Anyways, I'd better get to class like a 'good little boy' so I'll stop by your house later with my gift." Naruto nodded then watched the brunette disappear down the hall but not before walking into a wall.

Shaking his head, Naruto turned to head to his own class when he heard a strange, slightly familiar faint voice calling out to him in Japanese. "I must have hit my head a lot harder than I thought..." Frowning, Naruto took a step forward as he heard the voice get louder.

Gulping, Naruto turned about face and took a step forward in that direction. _'Now's not the time to act chivalrous Naruto, just get your well-toned ass to class!'_

Ignoring the nagging, persistent voice in his head, Naruto kept walking toward the direction of the voice. The blond kept walking down the empty hall and stopped when he felt a slight tremor, eyes widening he saw a huge gaping hole in the middle of the hallway. "Holy—"

Leaning forward, Naruto looked down watching four men advance on a small kimono-clad brunette. Taking a step forward, the blond slipped then plunged head first into the hole which instantly disappeared behind him.

Meanwhile, in his office Sarutobi sighed rubbing the no longer glowing crystal ball. "Be careful... Naruto."

...

Head first and increasing speed, Naruto collided into one of the men sending him flying into a tree.

"Taishou!" The three other men ran over to the brunette, pulling his unconscious body out of the tree.

"Oww... my head." Cracking one eye open, the blond looked up at the upside down beautiful brunette staring down at him quizzically. Sitting up Naruto openly stared at brunette, mouth agape, noticing how similar this situation was to one of his dreams... minus hitting the tree. Naruto blushed slightly as the kimono seemed to slide off a pale, tantalizing shoulder.

"Taishou, are you okay?" Growling, the biggest and orange-haired man stood up unsheathing his sword then pointing it at Naruto. "Get the fucking brat!" The two gray-haired men nodded unsheathing their swords as well. "Oi, you're gonna pay for interrupting our meal and hurting taishou."

"Huh?" Naruto sweatdropped pointing at himself, "you talking to me?"

"Who else do you think we're talking to you little shit?"

"Argh!" The brunette screamed sitting up, "I feel like I got hit by a bison! What the fuck just happened?"

"Kidomaru-sama!" The two gray-haired man yelled running back to their boss's side. "That guy over there headbutted you."

Kidomaru narrowed his eyes at Naruto who was being helped up by the brunette. "So, why is he still alive?" Gulping, the two men exchanged glances. Snorting, the brunette stood up cracking his knuckles and various other joints. "Oi, gaki, trying to play the hero?"

Kidomaru smirked as Naruto's eyes narrowed. "That's cute, but you're gonna get yourself hurt." The four men simultaneously took a step forward making Naruto and the brunette take a step back.

Without thinking, Naruto grabbed the brunette's hand then hauled ass in the opposite direction. "What the fuck? After them!"

_'I __**told**_ _you do get your tan, toned ass to class but nooooooo! You had to go and be all _noble_! None of this shit would have happened if you just listened to me for once! Are you even listening? Gyah! Why do I even bother?'_

Naruto felt himself being yanked flush against something cool. "Sakon, Ukon... go left. Jirobo and I will check right."

"Hai taishou!"

Once the footsteps dissipated Naruto allowed his rapid heart beat to return to normal, but _his_ heart wasn't the one palpitating against his head. Blushing slightly, Naruto allowed himself to be separated from the warm body then froze when he felt something soft press against his lips.

"Arigatou gozaimasu."

Once the initial shock wore off Naruto's face turned red and he pointed accusingly at the brunette. "Y-You _kissed_ me?"

"Kiss?" The brunette tilted …_it's_ head adorably, "I don't know anything about any 'kiss' I was merely showing gratitude for saving me. It is quite customary to acknowledge thanks by pressing your lips against your saviors."

If possible, Naruto's face turned redder as he lowered his hand. "B-B-But_—_"

The brunette bowed, "does my savior have a name? Mine is Haku."

"I-I'm Naruto."

"Naruto, hm? I like it." Naruto's blush returned full force. "You look sorta familiar, but I can't put a finger on it."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind." Grinning, Haku grabbed Naruto by the wrist. "Let's go."

"Go? Go where?"

"You'll see."

...

Naruto breathed a sigh of relief as he came across a small Japanese-style house, he almost instantaneously collapsed onto the porch as Haku sat down beside him. He had no idea what he gotten himself into when he followed the brunette through the crazy-ass forest, while the managed to lose Kidomaru and his goons completely they almost became lunch for a lion —which really had no business in the forest of all places!

"You're not tired, are you?" Naruto slowly turned his head toward the brunette playfully swinging his legs. Clearing his throat Haku sweatdropped, "right... stupid question."

"On the subject of 'stupid questions' what did that Kidomaru guy and his cronies want with you anyways?"

Haku shrugged still swinging his legs, "basically... they wanted to fuck my brains out."

Naruto grimaced, "how subtle."

Haku grinned, "it wasn't the first time, and honestly I thought they had me this time. I mean before you came they ripped my kimono and everything! By the way, that was one hell of an entrance —coming out of the sky and whatnot." The brunette turned to him raising an eyebrow, "how did you do that exactly?"

"I'm not really sure myself. One minute I was walking down the hall, the next I was falling through the sky."

"Weird, maybe you should see the heika?"

"The _who_-ka?"

"Heika, she's the ruler of Konoha."

"Ko-no-_what_?"

"Konohagakure, as in our kingdom. The place you are now?" Haku giggled at the blond's blank expression, "you really aren't from here."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Haku burst out laughing which made Naruto blush. "H-Hey!"

"Gomen... well, I suppose I can take you to see here; I mean, it's not like anyone else will."

Frowning, Naruto looked around the empty village then back at Haku. "Why is it so empty here?"

"Well. With the 'Sound Four' continuously terrorizing the village everyone just up and left." Sighing, Haku picked up a drifting silver flower and placed it in Naruto's hair. "This is the only home I've ever known, and I never had a reason to leave. But I suppose now is as good a time as any to branch out and explore the rest of the kingdom, ne?" Nodding, the brunette stood up and stretched. "Let's get going Naruto-san."

Standing up and stretching as well Naruto nodded. "Right!"

...

Naruto stared in awe at the gigantic palace just over the horizon, it had taken nearly a three hour walk through the forest but they ended up at the palace ...and by the looks of things it would take about another three hours to get in front of the damn thing!

"_Fuck_! How could you stand to walk so much!"

Haku turned toward the exhausted blond as if he sprouted an extra head. "What are you talking about? I can't fly and I don't own a carriage so how else can I get around? Besides, walking is good exercise and we're growing boys so we need all the exercise we can get."

"Tousan tells me that all the..._wait_!" With new found energy Naruto stood up straight pointing at Haku. "_Y-Y-You're a boy?_"

Haku's eyes narrowed, "what did you think I was?"

"You're so pretty that I thought you were a girl!"

"Well sorry to disappoint you." Ignoring the blond's shocked expression Haku unfastened his kimono revealing his bare chest, "but I'm no more girlie than you. And at the risk of sounding prejudice I sorta forgot you were a foreigner."

"Meaning?"

Refastening his kimono Haku sighed. "You see... there is a 1 : 100 ratio of women to men in the kingdom. Thousands of years ago, there was this horrible disease that nearly wiped out the entire gender. Truthfully it did wipe out the entire gender but it was only temporary. Hashirama-tono, the founder of Konohagakure and our first ever heika, found a way to somewhat revive the 'fairer sex' but—"

"But you said this heika person was a female!"

"She is. I didn't say there weren't any females I said there were very few."

"Alright then, if there are so few females how are babies born?"

"I'm not sure I'm following."

"..." The blond took a deep breath, "how do babies get born here?"

"I believe when two beings engage in coitus—"

"I don't need the technical terms!"

"But that's what you asked." Naruto facepalmed, "anyways what do babies have to do with females?"

"Don't females_ have _babies?"

"Nope." Naruto's jaw dropped, "women never had babies, that's just weird."

"The only thing weird here is this place!" The blond grumbled miserably, "so... how long have we been walking anyway?"

"Dunno, I don't have a watch. But all the talking we've been doing gradually cut down the walking."

"Huh?"

Haku jerked his thumb toward the gate a few steps away. "We're here."

"Seriously? That's great! All this walking is taking it's toll on my legs." As they approached the oversize gate two bored looking guards were standing at opposites sides of the gate.

"What's your business with the heika?" The guard on the left asked twirling around the toothpick in his mouth.

"Hm?"

Haku stepped in front of Naruto. "Uh... I believe my friend, Naruto-san, comes from the _'other'_ world. He's spouting these unusual, downright ridiculous ideals about falling from the sky, kissing, and women conceiving children!"

"Hey!"

"Hmm. That _is _ridiculous." The guard on the right replied, "anyone with a brain knows Konohagakuren women are incapable of conception."

Haku folded his arms over his chest nodding in agreement, "see?"

"Now wait a minute—"

The guard on the left tapped his chin, "...I'm not so sure about the 'kissing' or falling out of the sky part, but whatever, heika will be pleased nonetheless. Open the door Raidou-chan."

"Why do I always have to open the damn door Genma? And stop fucking calling me 'chan!'" Huffing, the guard on the right pressed the button opening the gate. "The heika's throne room is the biggest door directly in the center of the place. It's sort of past the courtyard, but you virtually can't miss it."

"Arigatou." Haku bowed then found himself being grabbed by Naruto toward said room.

Despite what Raidou said Haku and Naruto ended up getting lost, but soon found themselves standing in front of the giant silver double doors of the heika's throne room. Gulping, the two boys exchanged glances before Naruto hesitantly knocked on the door.

"Enter!" The powerful voice commanded.

Gulping once more, Naruto tip-toed into the room "U-Uh... heika?"

Red painted nails irritably tapped the throne handle and Naruto found himself cowering behind Haku –which incidentally wasn't much cover.

The figure stepped down from the throne revealing an overly-endowed brown-eyed blond woman. Her brown eyes widened, "Minato? Iie..." Narrowing her eyes, she folded her arms over her massive chest. "You're gaki, aren't you?"

"Who are you calling a brat?" The blond woman took a few steps forward until she was face-to-breasts with Naruto.

"I'm calling you, Namikaze Naruto, a gaki." Grinning, the blond began pinching and stretching Naruto's cheeks. "Well aren't you going to say hello to your grandfather?"

"G-Gwandpwafer?"

The blond released Naruto's cheeks all the while grinning. "That's right, Namikaze Tsunade—Konoha's current heika—at your service. I have to say it's about time you got here." Tsunade hit her grandson on the head then put her hands on her hips. "I still haven't been able to figure out how those fucking portals work in that stupid world." The heika sighed, "but I suppose it doesn't matter. And I guess you'll have to undergo a secret initiation..."

Naruto shook out of his stupor pointing a finger accusingly at the blond. "How could you be my grandfather—_you're a woman!_"

Tsunade rolled her eyes, "I'm your grand**father**, because the one who gave birth to Minato is your grand_mother_. Obviously."

"That was quite the sarcastic answer." Naruto elbowed the brunette, "it _was._"

"Anyways, what were you saying about some initiation ...jiisan?"

"The heika initiation; it's in the Senju-Namikaze bloodline to become the next heika."

"Become the what? There is no way in hell I can become the emperor of a kingdom I haven't even been in for more than eight hours!" Naruto winced as Tsunade hit him again.

"Quit bitching gaki, if you wanted a formal coronation all you had to do was ask."

"What coronation? I don't want to be the new heika!" Tsunade cracked her knuckles and Naruto sweatdropped. "M-Must you be so violent?"

"Listen to me very, _very_ carefully Naruto. I have been running this fucking kingdom for over 40 years. I. Am. Tired! Had that baka not been so hell-bent on catering to that bitch's wishes he would have been going through this shit, not me!"

"What a sec... did you just call my mother a bitch?"

Ignoring her grandson, Tsunade turned to Haku. "And who might you be?"

The brunette bowed. "M-My name is Haku, heika."

"Haku, hm?"

"Hey, don't ignore me!"

Frowning, Tsunade flicked Naruto on the forehead. "Kami, you are exactly like Minato! It's so damn annoying!" Sighing, the heika rubbed her temples. "I'm swearing you in **tonight**!"

"H-Hold on, you can't just make that choice! I have to get back home!"

"Home?" Tsunade chuckled, "Naruto, you _are_ home."

Naruto stared wide-eyed at his estranged grand_father._ He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that women couldn't get pregnant, but now this? How the hell was he supposed to believe a woman impregnated a man? "W-What do you mean I'm home?"

Tsunade sighed, "haven't you ever wondered about Minato's side of the family?"

"No."

"Well there's your first mistake. Minato was born here... he, that jackass Jiraiya, and myself went to Earth a few times for various research related purposes. Then during the most recent time... somehow, thanks to Jiraiya's ignorance, Minato ended up getting drunk then impregnating a conniving woman by the name of Uzumaki Kushina, but I believe it would be Kushina Uzumaki on Earth. I'm sure you're aware that inebriated people tend to talk their hearts out, correct?" Naruto nodded and Tsunade sighed, "she knew that Minato was—_hell, he still __is_—deeply in love with someone, yet she had the gall to still sink her claws into him. Then she tried using your birth as a crutch so he wouldn't leave her." Tsunade shook her head, "terrans truly are despicable beings."

"Even so, I'm half-terran. Plus that's my mother your talking about! I don't care how despicable she is."

"Hm? Well gaki, would you rather return to Earth and have your mother try and kill you again? Or would you prefer to stay here with Minato and the rest of your family living."

"How did you know about my mother trying to kill me? And what do you mean stay here with tousan?"

"Well... Minato and I kept in touch over the years. He was contemplating his return for years but stayed on Earth for your sake; I understand him wanting to play the 'perfect family' game, but staying there – at the cost of his own happiness – just so you could grow up with both parents like he had was just stupid."

"So... tousan's coming here?"

Tsunade nodded, "without you he has no tides to Earth... in fact he's on his way here even as we speak."

Naruto's eyes lit up, "that's great. But what about Jiraiya-jiisan—uh, I mean _baasan_?"

"You think I slept with... Jiraiya?"

"Didn't you?"

"Of course not! I'd have to be crazy to sleep with him!" Tsunade snatched a bottle of saké from the tray downing it in one gulp. "Jiraiya's just a friend of the family, he's of no relation to you... well no blood relation as he is your godfather."

"Ah... but if Jiraiya isn't my grandmother then who is?"

"Don't worry about that now." Tsunade smirked, maniacally rubbing her hands together. "Let's celebrate your arrival, shall we? **Shizune!**"

A timid brunette entered the throne room carrying a tray full of saké, she bowed placing the tray in front of the two blonds and Haku. "I'm Shizune, it's an honor to meet you heika."

Naruto blinked, pointing to himself. "You talking to me?"

"Hai. Aren't you taking over the position?"

"Uh... well, wouldn't tousan be more qualified?"

Tsunade and Shizune exchanged glances, "true... but you're here and he's not."

"But you said—"

Tsunade clapped her hands together, then handed two bottles of saké to the teens in front of her and one to Shizune. "A toast ...to the new heika!"

"Here, here!"

...

Naruto winced attempting to ignore the stinging pain in his left arm. He was certain one wasn't supposed to get a tattoo under the influence, but Tsunade herself gave him the tattoo and she was this super medical genius so she must have had a general idea and just didn't seem to give a damn. But getting him drunk, and explaining the Konohagakuren customs, then putting the Konohagakuren kingdom symbol (a weird swirl-like thing) on his left arm meant he had to be the heika or be beheaded! Needless to say he was quite fond of his head, being attached to it for seventeen whole years and everything...

Tsunade escorted him to his temporary room, saying his bedroom would be prepared by morning. Turning his head to the right he saw Haku's peacefully sleeping face a few centimeters from his, luckily the effeminate brunette stuck by him which prevented him from thrashing about like a little baby. Throughout the searing pain and his trypanophobia he kept a manly facade, after all he couldn't afford to act like a pansy in front of Haku –especially since the brunette thought so highly of him after being rescued and everything.

Thinking about what his paternal grand_father_ said to him, though the concept of having a female grandfather still perplexed him, and despite missing his friends (Konohamaru and Principal Sarutobi in particular), if his father was coming to Konoha there was no real reason for him to return to Earth. Although this world didn't seem to promising either, but if he got to see/be around Haku everyday he didn't mind calling the 'demon world' his home.

Haku's foot moved, innocently brushing against his leg making Naruto blush. Sighing, the blond turned his head toward the wall. "It's gonna be a long night..."

The next morning, the sunlight shone into the guest room stirring Naruto out of his peaceful slumber. He looked to the left then immediately started blushing as he saw Haku's adorable sleeping face even closer than it was last night, looking up Naruto's eyes widened. Attached to Haku's head was a giant silver pointy ear. Yes, he was told this was the demon world but everyone here so far looked pretty normal! (Minus the whole, women not having babies part... and the female grandfather).

Backing away slowly, Naruto scooted off the bed trying not to wake up the dormant brunette but failed miserably as he fell off the bed landing on his ass with a loud thud. Brown eyes snapped open and Haku looked down at Naruto tangled in the sheets. Blue eyes locked onto the other giant silver pointy ear twitching.

"Why do you have ears popping out of your head?"

"Hm?" Haku tilted his head slightly, causing the ears to sway adorably.

"It's so...I can't take it! _Kyaa~_!" Naruto jumped up tackling Haku and tweaking his ears. Haku seemed to glow momentarily before he exploded in a burst of smoke. "Ah! I killed Haku!"

As the smoke cleared, Naruto looked down at the small twitching, unconscious silver fox on the bed. "_**AAAAAAAhhhhhhhh!**_"

Carrying Haku in his arms, Naruto kicked open Tsunade's bedroom door. "Jiisan, jiisan! Something's terribly wrong with Haku!"

The irritable blond sat up swiftly removing her black sleep mask. "You'd better have a damn good—" The blond's sentence was cut short as a small furry animal landed in her sheet-covered lap. "What the hell is this thing?"

"That's what I'd like to know!"

Tsunade held the creature in the air examining it, "it's a shiro kitsune."

"I know it's a white fox!"

"Then what do you want?"

"The white fox is Haku!"

Tsunade rose an eyebrow, glancing at the creature in her lap before staring back at Naruto. "Really? His aura doesn't seem very kitsune-ish. Must be a half-breed."

"Aura?"

"Spiritual energy or ki."

"That's all well and good, but how do we change him back?"

"Relax gaki—"

"Relax? How can I relax—" Naruto's eyebrows furrowed as Tsunade covered his mouth.

"Listen up because I'm only going to explain this once. Our world has pushed to the limits that Earth has not, terrans are a thing of the past and mankind has evolved combing DNA with animals creating the demons you see before you now. Demons are known to pull partial transformations during their sleep among other things; whenever a demon gets overly excited, terrified, or is put under a great deal of stress they undergo a full-fledged transformation into what is known as the alternate form. See exhibit A." Tsunade jerked her thumb at Haku. "Usually, it takes a while to revert back into ones original form, depending on the means of the transformation."

"Huh?"

"What did you do?"

Naruto blushed suddenly finding the floor interesting. "I tweaked his ears."

Tsunade facepalmed. "Naruto..." She sighed, "you're only getting in tune with your demon side so I'll give you a fair warning. Touching a kitsune or any canidae's ears, especially when part-way transforming, is equivalent to heavy petting."

Naruto paled, "what?"

Tsunade nodded. "I haven't been able to figure out why, but it's just the way it is. I'm also telling you this because with your terran blood your body might be twice as sensitive."

"I'm a kitsune too?"

"A hayai kitsune to be precise."

"I don't think I've ever heard of a 'swift' fox?" Tsunade produced an encyclopedia from the large shelf behind her and shoved it in Naruto's hand. "Ah." The seventeen-year-old looked up for the first time noticing the obscenely large bookshelf stacked with a copious amount of books on various subjects. "You must read a lot."

"Not really. Believe it or not, this was Minato's influence. That baka is the biggest bibliophile in any world, growing up he would always come in here messing up all my books so I decided to put them all in a shelf he had easy access to. So, this has been bothering me ...how exactly did you get here?"

"A huge black hole appeared on the ground and I fell into it!"

Tsunade gaped. "You fell ...through the floor?"

Before Naruto could respond there was a loud popping noise which caused the two of them to look at the floor where Tsunade placed Haku before giving the encyclopedia to Naruto. There was a thin layer of fog, that immediately dissipated, Haku stood up slowly his kimono loose enough to give Naruto a view of his bare chest and then some.

Eyes widening, Naruto continued to stare at the brunette until he felt something warm running down his face. Blinking, the blond instinctively wiped his face with the back of his hand and saw his smeared blood staring back at him. "Gah! I'm bleeding!"

Tsunade smacked him on the back of the head, "it's just a nosebleed. You're just as perverted as Minato."

"W-Wha—!"

"You saw Haku's half-naked body and started subconsciously thinking perverted thoughts. Hence the blood pouring out of your nose right now."

"T-That's not true!"

"Oh yes it is." Tsunade calmly pulled out a mirror, handing it to Naruto.

Frowning, the blond looked at the mirror then his eyes widened as he saw a pair of yellow fox ears attached to his own head. Shaky tan hands slowly reached up hesitantly tweaking his own ears, "what the hell happened to me?"

"Didn't I just finish explaining partial transformations?"

"You didn't say I'd grow ears by looking at a guy!"

"Have you ever seen a half-naked guy before Naruto, aside from yourself, and Minato? And possibly Jiraiya?" Naruto shook his head, "what was the first thing I said about part-way transforming?"

"That if demons are—" Naruto's face turned bright red and his ears began twitching madly. "I wasn't overly excited!"

"_Wasn't? _Look at your ears you dolt, you're **still** excited." Naruto's blush increased tenfold and he tried to press his ears down to prevent them from fluttering any more. "Look, it's nothing to be ashamed of." Tsunade glanced over at Haku who was tying the obi around his kimono. "Do you need some help?"

Naruto blushed impossibly further as Haku looked up, "hai." Tsunade motioned for him to come closer as she tied the obi in the butterfly knot. "Arigatou gozaimasu."

"No problem." The blond yawned, "anyways gaki you should check out your throne room and your new bedroom— it took the painters all night but I think it'll be to your liking."

"Okay, but I need a toothbrush and a towel first."

"..." Tsunade took a deep breath. "**Shizune!**"

"Hai!" The timid brunette burst in the bedroom door.

"Give gaki all the toiletries he needs." Nodding the brunette disappeared only to reappear a few seconds later with said items. Before Naruto could look up and thank her she disappeared again.

"Wow..."

"Alright gaki, that should be everything. Now shoo."

"But—"

"_Shoo_!"

Grumbling, Naruto hesitantly complied exiting the room with Haku not too far behind. After the necessary tactics of practicing basic good hygiene and eating a well balanced breakfast, the duo headed toward the throne room. Once inside Naruto looked around in absolute awe.

The walls were painted in the same blue as his eyes instead of the dreary cream-ish color it was the night before. The plushy carpet was bright orange and not only did feel nice through his thin-ass slippers but it complemented the room. And all those years Kushina told him an orange rug was a hideous idea that she wanted no part of. This room was nothing short of sexy!

Naruto nearly squealed as he saw the orange and red throne above the small staircase. He ran up to it plopping down, it truly felt as soft as it looked. He sighed in content blushing once he saw Haku's curious gaze.

"G-Gomen, I've always wanted a chair like this."

"Can I sit too?"

Naruto's blush deepened as he slid over allowing the brunette to sit beside him, their legs brushing together every so often. _'What are you, some prim schoolgirl? Did you forgot your surrogate grandfather is the biggest pervert in the two worlds and then some? All this blushing and shyness has to stop! So what if he's sex on legs...'_

Naruto sweatdropped as his brain refused to come up with a suitable argument, but he was right about the blushing part. He could barely look Haku in his beautiful brown eyes without turning scarlet or some other shade of red. Of course, aside from the beauty that is Minato, Naruto never seen anyone half as beautiful as Haku.

"It's so squishy."

Through his peripheral vision Naruto saw the brunette bopping on the chair with a big grin on his face. _'Awww... he's so kawaii!' _Naruto sighed, this was the reason why he never relied on his brain! It always, always got him into trouble.

Nevertheless, he continued his masochistic journey staring at the brunette while his brain supplied countless perverted imageries.

"Oh!" Naruto nearly jumped at the sudden outburst, he was so immersed in his own thoughts that he almost forgot Haku was even there. "Didn't the heika—uh, Tsunade-sama—tell you to check out your new room too?"

"Hai, but I'm not exactly sure where it is." Haku tapped his chin, "wanna look for it?"

"You bet!"

So, after one last look around the sexy throne room Naruto led Haku on a wild, fruitless search for his new bedroom. After getting lost the 29th time Naruto decided to call it quits as he and Haku slumped against each other dropping to the floor.

"We have absolutely no sense of direction..."

Haku sighed, "Its actually kind of sad..."

The toothpick twirling guard from earlier walked past them raising an eyebrow, "you two lost?" Naruto nodded. "Where ya heading? Maybe I can help you out, I know this palace can be confusing as all hell."

"We're trying to find my new room, but I don't know where to look."

"Ah." The guard nodded. "Follow Genma, he'll show you the way."

So, Naruto and Haku did just that. They followed the peculiar man around the palace until they spotted an unfamiliar gray door, of course all the doors in the palace were gray so it was hard to tell. "Tsunade-sama figured you two would get lost so she had me scope out the scenario." Genma grinned opening the door.

Naruto's eyes widened as he saw his new bedroom. Never in his life had he considered having orange walls but now he was wishing he had. The walls were bright orange, technically the best kind of orange, and the rug was black. There was a bunch of other orange things thrown around the room but the thing that predominately caught his attention was the large king sized orange-sheeted bed that seemed to be calling out to Naruto.

Back on Earth the only thing orange in his bedroom was his sheets, but they certainly weren't made of silk! Promptly thanking Genma, Naruto dove atop the silk sheets mussing them up. "Silk is the sexiest fabric ever~!"

Sighing in content Naruto looked over at the upside-down closet that was filled with fancy looking clothes. Haku must have sensed his confusion because he walked over to the closet and pulled out an outfit holding against body, of course there was no way his clothes can fit Haku—wait..._his_ clothes?

Naruto pushed the thought of Haku wearing his clothes away for a moment and walked over to the closet. Sure enough these clothes were his size, but how could Tsunade have known his size exactly! Frowning, he put an arm through one of the sleeves it was tighter than the clothes he usually wore but it was still wearable.

"Hey, Naruto-san, you think those creepy guys that came in the guest room last night were taking our measurements?"

"Huh?" Naruto's eyes widened. In his sleepy, befuddled mind he thought he saw (or rather felt) a bunch of leering, scantily-clad men with tape measurers groping him and Haku...especially Haku.

"Look Naruto-san, there's clothes here for me too." Haku smiled holding an orange kimono against his body. "I can't wait to try this on!"

Naruto had to fight back a nosebleed at the sight and thought of that. "S-So, I noticed there wasn't a bath in the bathroom. Where do you think it'll be?"

"Maybe there's an outdoor bath, or an onsen!"

Naruto gulped and he literally felt his own brain facepalm. "L-Let's check it out."

...

Though he may not have had any attraction to a woman before Naruto never saw one naked either. A beautiful red-haired woman walked out of the onsen with a flimsy towel wrapped around her voluptuous body. "Oh! You must be..." She looked the blushing blond up and down and smirked, "our chibi-heika. It's about time a good-looking man ran our kingdom. I'm looking forward to seeing you again." The attractive redhead licked right whiskered cheek before disappearing.

Luckily Genma was still outside and he helped them get to the onsen with ease. Naruto certainly wasn't expecting to see another woman, especially a woman almost as well-endowed as Tsunade. Not that the first thing he saw when he looked at a woman was her breasts! He wasn't some sort of deviant!

"I've never been to an onsen before."

Haku's sweet, sweet voice brought Naruto out of his perverted musings. "Me either. Let's make some good memories, ne?" Haku nodded.

As appealing as the thought of seeing Haku naked truly was, Naruto thought against it... after all he didn't want the brunette to think he was as perverted as he truly was, and he'd know for sure if he walked into the onsen with an erection. He couldn't even wait for Haku to undress, so divesting himself as fast as possible Naruto deposited his clothing in one of the baskets then wrapped a giant fluffy orange towel around his waist and headed toward the bathing station when he bumped into something... looking up he noticed the some_thing_ was a some**one**.

"G-Gomen."

"Watch where you're going next time baka!" Naruto gaped at the brunette who brushed past him.

But before he could respond to the jerk Haku walked over to him, "is something wrong Naruto-san?"

"Iie... everything's fine. Some jerk just bumped into me."

"Hmm, did you see which way he went?" Naruto shook his head. Resisting temptation, he entered and exited the bathing station without looking at Haku's naked body. As soon as he sunk down in the onsen Naruto's ears popped up.

Luckily the heat made the perfect cover up for his blush, because Haku happily sunk down beside him. "Doesn't this feel great Naruto-san?" Naruto's ears began twitching madly as Haku's head fell on his tense shoulders.

"H-Hai."

"You seem so tense, do you want a massage?"

_'Hell yes!_' "I-Iie... that's not necessary."

"Hmm..." Haku's eyes narrowed as he stared off in the distance, "what's that over there?"

All too eager for an immediate distraction, Naruto followed Haku's eyes and looked over at the unfamiliar standing up and getting out of the onsen. Since the two of them were by the entrance/exit who or _what_ever the creature was they would have to pass them in order to get back inside.

Naruto's eyes narrowed as the jerk from earlier emerged from the fog. The blond stood up oblivious to Haku's flushed face and pointed accusingly. "It's _you_!"

Coal eyes turned toward Naruto, looking him up and down blushing slightly. "Sit back down baka!"

Following the jerk's gaze, Naruto looked down at his half-hardened cock bobbing above the water. Yelping, Naruto sat back in the water blushing furiously. "This is all your fault!"

"It's not my fault you're a horny idiot!" The brunette huffed looking away, his blush refusing to subside. "What the hell did you want anyway?"

"You owe me an apology, teme!"

"What! I don't owe you a damn thing you...you..._usuratonkachi_!"

Haku shook out of his stupor then wiped his bloody nose, he couldn't help but sweatdrop as lightning struck between Naruto and the broody guy. Haku couldn't understand what they were saying but they appeared to be locked in a heated argument. Finally, the broody brunette seemed as if he had enough and stomping away. Naruto sat back down, then placed his fluffy orange towel on the floor beside his head and grumbled to himself sinking further into the onsen until the hot water tickled his nostrils.

"Are you alright Naruto-san?" Haku rose an eyebrow at the bubbles surfacing to the top of the water. "I'm sorry... I didn't quite catch that."

Naruto's flushed face slowly rose above the water. "I said I'm fine."

"That's good."

"Whoa, so this is chibi-heika?" Naruto and Haku exchanged glances before looking up at the towel-clad brunette grinning toothily at them, however neither his feral, mischievous grin nor the upside down red triangular tattoos his cheeks were the most notable thing about him... that award went to the prominent bulge jutting from his towel. The toothy grin broadened and he licked his lips bending to Naruto's level, causing the towel to ride up slightly revealing more of his tan thighs. "You're pretty hot, chibi-heika, I think I'll be visiting the palace a lot more often. The name's Kiba by the way."

"N-Naruto."

Kiba eyes widened as he stared at Haku, "and who might _ya _be?"

"I'm Haku."

"And I thought chibi-heika was hot..." Kiba licked his lips then grinned slipping into the onsen pushing Naruto back. "Don't tell me you're an item?"

Haku blushed slightly. "I-Iie... Naruto-san and I are just friends."

Kiba looked over his shoulder at the blond and smirked before looking back at Haku, "that's too bad... well not really, since I can flirt with ya without abandon."

"Isn't that what you're doing anyway?"

Kiba smirked again looking at Naruto. "I wouldn't have done it if ya were actually dating. I ain't no home-wrecker." Naruto looked over Kiba's shoulder at Haku who started blushing again.

"W-Wha—!"

Kiba looked down, then scratched his head sheepishly. "Sorry 'bout that, guess my junk's got a mind of it's own..." Naruto visibly blanched. "And I'm guessing it likes ya ...not that I can blame it. So, Haku-chan, how old are ya?"

"Eighteen."

"What? That's a year older than me!" Kiba's eyebrows furrowed as he looked over his shoulder at Naruto. "You're seventeen?"

"That's my line!"

"Hai, July 7th is my b-day."

Naruto muttered something under his breath before he swam over to Haku's other side. "Mine is October 10th."

"Ah, your birthday was yesterday, ne? Happy belated birthday then chibi-heika." A vein throbbed on Naruto's forehead as he slumped back against the wall. "When's your birthday Haku-chan?"

"Um, January 9th."

Kiba sighed affectionately, "you're so kawaii Haku-chan." Haku blushed scratching his head. "Isn't he just the kawaii-est, chibi-heika?"

With his ears fluttering, Naruto nodded. Haku smiled happily latching onto Naruto's right side. "Arigatou gozaimasu, chibi-heika." Naruto's ears began fluttering quicker and Kiba shook his head. "Oh! But I'm guessing I probably shouldn't refer to you as 'chibi', ne?"

Naruto's eyes widened and Kiba gasped blushing. Haku closed his eyes and tilted his head in concentration. "Just how big are ya anyway?"

"I'm not disclosing that information with you!"

"I say we should compare penis sizes."

"Are you insane?"

"Iie... but I am confident."

Naruto's left eye twitched. "You sure do talk a lot of shit, but I'm willing to be your _mouth_ is the only thing big on you."

"Oh, is that so?" Kiba stood proudly flaunting his jutting erection. "Feast your eyes on this." Glowering, Naruto stood as well only his erection was bobbing at half-mast. "Well, well, chibi-heika... what's the matter? Can't get it up?"

"**I can**!"

"Sure ya don't need a little help?"

"You just wanna touch my stuff!"

Kiba shrugged, "there's no use lying." Naruto's ears popped up as Kiba closed the gap between them. "I know **exactly **what you need..." Licking his lips he trailed one of his hands down the blond's taut body. Naruto gulped as he saw the brunette coming closer, and just as he thought Kiba was about to kiss him the slightly older teen forcibly turned his head toward Haku who was still in the same thinking position. "Ya need to think about your _fully-_erect cock plunging deep inside Haku-chan's hot, tight little ass. As soon as your push it in it'll—" Kiba sweatdropped at the copious amount of blood dripping out of a dazed Naruto's nose. His hand snaked down to the blond's hardened cock and gave it a firm squeeze. "A messy, yet thoroughly effective method."

He stood back admiring the blond's body. "Fuck, it's a tie!"

With the blond still pouring out of his nose Naruto shook his head then looked down, "how can you tell?"

"That's a good question, I suppose a ruler is in order." Haku's eyes opened in time to see both Naruto and Kiba standing in front of each other with their cocks standing at attention.

Brown eyes widened considerably. "W-What are you two doing?" Naruto and Kiba turned toward the brunette who's face resembled a tomato.

"I-It was his idea!" They replied in unison before abruptly sitting back in the water.

"He's such a shamelessly perverted heika!"

"What? _You're_ the shameless one! I'm not the one that wanted to compare penis sizes!"

"Oh! Ne, Haku-chan, which one of us would ya say was the winner?"

Haku blushed looking away from Kiba, "I-I didn't look long enough to see —and don't stand up again either!"

Kiba pouted slumping back, "you're such a tease Haku-chan." The brunette sighed affectionately, "but I'm willing to overlook it because you're so sexy."

Naruto facepalmed, "I think I've had enough."

"Don't worry chibi-heika, you're pretty sexy too. Speaking of sex, when can I fuck ya so hard ya won't be able to sit straight?"

Naruto glared at the brunette. "**Never!**" He got out of the onsen hastily wrapping the fluffy orange towel around his waist, then he pulled Haku out of the onsen shielding him from Kiba's hungry gaze.

Kiba pouted, "aww... don't be like that. I'd gladly let ya fuck me. Hey, why don't we have a threesome?"

"I'll have to pass."

As soon as Haku had the towel wrapped around his lithe frame, Naruto grabbed him by the hand stomping back inside.

Smirking, Kiba waved at the Haku who waved back. Sighing, he slumped back against the wall ...his hand snaking down to grasp his unwavering erection. Seeing chibi-heika, the brief feel of his cock had Kiba cumming after a few strokes. Licking his lips the brunette pushed himself out of the onsen fully intent on following Naruto. After all, he wasn't about to let that ass go without a fight.


End file.
